Are you a virgin?
Nope. 

What do you want to major in?
Foreign languages, which is what I’m majoring now. 

What’s your sexual orientation?
I’m straight, but I want to try out being in a relationship with a girl. 

What’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you?
Visit me almost every day during the last couple weeks of high school just to chill with me. 

What are the top five places you wish you could go before you die?
Japan, Australia, New York City, South Korea, the pretty places in the Philippines.

What was the scariest moment of your life?
When I almost died at the age of four-five.

If you could take something back that you said or did, what would it be?
I would take back my senior year. I would have done things completely differently.

If you had to name three important details about you, what would you say?
No comment?

Are you allergic to anything? If so, what?
Eggs, chicken and seafood. D:

Have you ever been in love? If so, are you still in love?
I have, and I am.

What are four things you can’t live without and why?
My family/friends, my laptop, the internet, my phone. LOL.

What do you like to do in your spare time?
Read, sleep, smoke, write, draw.

What are your biggest fears?
Not being able to accomplish everything I had planned.

What are two of your biggest weaknesses?
NSKDRYO, and uh… idk.

What are your three biggest insecurities?
My stomach, my arms, my legs.

If you could write anonymous letters to three people, who would you send it to and what would you say?
No thank you.

Favourite photo of yourself?
It’s on the sidebar.

Who are you disappointed with right now?
Kind of myself. It’s an on and off kind of thing.

Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
Uhh, no?

Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
I don’t think so?

Do you care if people talk badly about you?
Yes, but what can I do about it?

In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?
Yes. 

Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
Haha, it’s much more lonely. 

Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?
AHAHAHA. No, but I will in February. n3n

Is there someone you will never forget?
Yes.

Is there anyone you can tell everything to?
Yessir.

Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?
I think so.

What’s the reason behind your last breakup? 
Eh, lack of communication, lack of trust, lack of understanding, lack of love.

What’s your relationship with your sibling/s like?
I’m really close to all of them. They’re all my best friends. LOLOL.

Sometimes, I think I’m better off single. Boys and feelings and everything is such a hassle. I’m sad for no reason, lonely for no reason, angry for no reason.

Blahhh.

I don’t think many people understand how I can be so sad after moving away. 

I know I should be use to not having people who were there for me to still be there, but after creating strong bonds with people, you begin to feel like they will always be there. When you create such a strong friendship with people, you start to trust them with everything you are. Especially when you have fall outs but are able to fix them with other people, you start thinking that they’ll remain with you forever.

People move away, once or twice or maybe even more in their lifetime, but I’m only nineteen and I’ve moved away 9 times. And moving back makes a total of 10. I should be use to this feeling that friendships don’t last forever, but because I created such great friendships with great people, I started to think that maybe…friendships do last forever. 

It’s hard to let go of people you grow to love and even consider family, so even though I’m back home with my mom and sisters, there’s still that empty feeling. Maybe people will think I’m pathetic for thinking that things are harder without friends, but who cares? Without friends who I consider family, is like missing a part of my family.

Instead of constantly saying that I miss my friends, I think I’ll start saying that I miss that part of my family.

Sometimes it’s nice to hear that you’re missed without having to say that you miss them first.

Sometimes it’s nice to hear that you’re loved without having to say that you love them first, too.

Lately, when I go to sleep, I hope I don’t wake up the next morning.

Life would be much better without me in it.

I’m currently listening to Island by The Starting Line, a song introduced to me back in ‘07 by my first boyfriend. This song use to be our song. You know how couples have their song? Well, Island was ours. Whenever I use to listen to this song, I was immediately brought back to those days with him. But now, I can choose whether this song reminds me of him or not. On lonely days like these, I listen to this song and think of him for some reason. I get reminded of our talks under the huge tree by the playground in Ocean Point. I get reminded of all the things we did together as friends and as a couple: when he took out his PSP to let me listen to Island for the first time, when he explained how some of the lyrics remind him of me, when he called me his dream girl, when he declared that it was going to be our song, when he held me for the first time as we sat under the tree in Ocean Point and listened to this song, when he asked me if he could kiss me for the first time, when he held me for a good five minutes before we departed ways, when he rode the bus with me even though he lived in the opposite direction, when he put his arm around me so I could rest on his shoulder during the bus ride, when he kissed me good bye once it came to my stop, when it rained hard in Ewa Beach and we kissed in the tower of the playground, when he sessioned with me and taught me more foot work, when his friends called us “the foundation couple” because he was mostly foot work and so was I, when we broke up for the first, second and third time. I use to think of all these things whenever I listened to this song, but now I don’t think about those things anymore. Now when I listen to this song on lonely days such as these, I only feel comforted and not so lonely. This song eases up my tense feelings. I don’t know what I’m trying to say, but I’ve gone a long way from thinking about my ex-boyfriend to feeling at ease.

And to be honest, it’s pissing me off.